Adoptee Guide Part 1: Getting Started

Eastman, P. D. (1998). Are you my mother? New York: Random House.

If you stumbled across my website because you are an adoptee or are looking for an unknown parent, I say “Hello and welcome!”

Starting a search for a biological parent is a big step. Thanks to modern technology, you still have to find the proverbial needle in a haystack, but the needle is now the size of an icepick. And in keeping with my terrible analogy, finding that giant needle can be exciting, but it very well may be painful.

I would be remiss if I failed to mention the emotional impact of searching for and finding (or not finding) an unknown parent. Before jumping into the nuts and bolts of this process, please take a moment to ask yourself a few questions.

Are you truly ready to find out who your birth parents are?

Have you weighed the pros and cons of knowing?

Do you have an emotional support network?

There are many unknown factors to consider and some of the secrets you discover may be upsetting. I also can’t in good conscience encourage anyone who starts this quest out of anger or resentment. Whatever circumstances placed you into the home of adoptive parents, I hope you begin this journey with an open mind and a protected heart.

If you are unsure, go ahead and bookmark this page for later. I’ll still be here if you want to take some time to think about it.

If you’re sure you’re ready to continue, we’ll move on to

Part 2: DNA Testing – Which company to choose?

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